marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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