No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
