Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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