I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
