There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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