So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize