he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize