Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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