Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
