So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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