I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
