Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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