I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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