I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
