She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
