Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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