I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
