Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
