At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize