Don't you send me to vm
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
