So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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