This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
