btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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