No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
