Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
