I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
