He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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