Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
