I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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