His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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