Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
