are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
