The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
