Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
