she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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