Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
