just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
