beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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