Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
