roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize