Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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