I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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