there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
