just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
