You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
