As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
