she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
