I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
