so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
