So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Even my vagina gasped.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
