I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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