You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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