i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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