Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
