One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize