I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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