Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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