Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
