i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
