census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
