Don't you send me to vm
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
