bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
