Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize